Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jeremy MC-Adam's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 8th, 2005
1:58 am	How many more have to go? Learn people. We all will miss him but please don't turn this into another "who knew him, who didn't" thing, it's just silly. His loved ones will hurt while others pretend to. Give Keeley and his sons, and his family all the support and love in the world, because they are who matters now. If you want to show love, then learn a lesson. (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
12:44 am	MySpace is so much radder than LJ I just realized...You can meet people, and it's dope.. haha. I havn't posted on here in such a long time. I've been super busy at work and whatnot, and havn't fealt like writing much, as crazy as that is to me. well, I hope everyone isn't not having as much fun as I am, cause it blows... and get myspace! and add me... peace. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
2:53 am	Stole this from Summer W0ULD Y0U... [] go out with me? [] give me your number? [] kiss me? [] let me kiss you? [] watch a movie with me? [] take me out to dinner? [] drive me somewhere [] take a shower with me? [] be my GF? [] have a fling with me? [] buy me a drink? [] take me home for the night? [] Would you let me sleep in your bed? [] Sing car karaoke w/ me? [] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? [] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [] give me a piggyback ride? [] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere D0 Y0U... [] think im cute? [] want to kiss me? [] want to cuddle wit me? [] want to hook up with me? ARE WE... [] aquintences? [] friends? [] in a relationship? [] gonna have kids? AM i... [] smart? [] cute? [] funny? [] cool? HAVE Y0U EVER... [] thought about me? [] thought there might be an "us"? [] thought about hookin up with me? [] found yourself wanting a kiss from me? [] wished i were there? ARE Y0U... [] done with this survey? [] happy you know me? [] mad at me? [] thinkin bout me? [] going to repost this so that i will return the favor? (24 Comments |Comment on this)
2:43 am	I figured I'd write a quick entry just for pleasure, since a lot of my posts are pretty much directed towards girls only, since guys probably aren't going to be reading any of this anyways. I write about love only because it intrigues me, and no one in the world understands it. It's one of the only crazy things in this world that no one can figure out yet. It possesses us and has such a great power over everything.... it's just fucked up. Well, I havn't been up to shit lately, Just the usual same old boring stuff as always. I work every day, and occassionally, I get a day off! I'm still workin on movin out, but it hasn't been goin so well I guess. Havn't really been hangin out with anyone lately, except the few nights a week at Tony's. I went on a date with a girl I work with last week, Sarah Glazier, I hope I spelled her name right. She's really cool, and incredibly beautiful, I find myself liking her more and more as I get to know her. She's cool shit! My momma had some kind of cancer thing goin on, and she had to have surgery to have it removed, so she's in a lot of pain and I gotta help take care of her a lot, but I'm glad she's alive. well, that's all of my pointless bullshit for all you pointless bullshit readers out there. I read all your bullshit about "so and so going out," or "little billy cheated on me and I'm so sad" so I hope you read mine too... haha man I'm glad I'm outta high school, whoooo! peace (3 Comments |Comment on this)
2:09 am	Not much to say Mumbo Jumbo... During our last closing shift, I stared at you with tired eyes, and couldn't help but smile. You're a portfolio of good looks, and an entrapment of good qualities, it just dosn't seem real. You have something that I don't have, so don't let it go. You know something I don't know, but don't let it show. We make it sound so complicated, but to us it's just so simple. I went to a restaurant to eat for my birthday celebration, and the waitress was too shy to bring me a birthday cake with song. You weren't, and I appreciated it. I was more happy than you'd ever know. On our last closing shift, we fell head-over-heels in love, for one whole afternoon and into the evening hours. When the 1 P.M morning comes, you'll have already forgotten my name. They call me "the one who arrives, after it's much too late." Reasons being mostly for my prompt-late showcase. I only appear directly after unfortunate circumstances to share a few words and be on my way. I hold out a hand to be held, but instead I leave with only a shake. I suppose a shake is better than a slap. He'll kick you in the face, and I'll whipe your tears and kiss your forehead. If only I could redirect the blow in the first place; that's really what you need. I'm sorry for not being able to do that for you. I like your smile, because it's a smile of gratification. Where am I going with this? For once I am content with the unknown. Will I see you again? I hope you don't think I'm looking for anything, just hoping to run into something. Tonight I charmed you into coming here, but now that you're here, I can't say that I'm not at a loss for words. I'm a fool, but at least I'm nothing that I'm not. You can take my hand, or choose to look the other way, because regardless of your decisions, I will remain on the same path. The direction you travel is a mirror image of mine, it's only the pace you can change; keep up if you can. Where are we going? Paralyzing confusion takes over.                                     I can't talk about it.       think                            about            it,                  I can't                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            even move. Are we looking for one day of happiness, where in one occasion, all in one time, we can witness a sunrise, a sunset, the moon and a sky full of stars? If I could stop time to stay here with you, I wouldn't. I would fast-forward time to outer space and all eternity, just to see how far I could take you with me. This is to every broken heart. To every cheater, and liar and loser and cryer. To every BOY who ruined every GIRL that let every boy ever, ruin them...and to every woman who refused to give that boy a second chance. Any man or woman who can figure something out for themselves as well, this is for you too. I could use a hug because you could tell I had a bad day. I'll never step in love again, I'll just fall unexpectedly.                                           ~You're beautiful especially.... You're all beautiful.~ (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
2:50 am	Valentine, Shmalentine... Little Cmac...I hope you know. Come here, little one, I've got something to tell you. It's never been about me, It's always been about you. I never will hurt you. I never will fail you. I am your father, as much as your brother, and I love you, little buddy, I've got a story to tell you...                                                                                              It's been a long time. It's been a long, long run. It's been a long time, since papa took the gun. It wasn't always bad, however often sad, but I hope I've been to you, an exceptable dad.                                                                                         If you can trust in one, you can always trust in me, Though this never was the way, it was ever supposed to be. So I hope you know, the happy face momma and I maintain to show, is the one we put on, so that you never feel low. Love your mother deep, because at night, before she sleeps, she wishes you a safe distance from harm to keep.                                                                                                A spitting image of your grandmother, like no other, I wouldn't trade you, for any other brother. We've come a long way, and I hope you know, there's about a million things, that I would like to say. I hope you know, I look after you, every single night, every single day.                                                                  If I could only teach you, just one thing, It's that not every sun shines, and not every bird sings. Take it from me, Little Irish, life will bring you down, and something that I wish, is for you to never show a frown. In a pool of alike salmon, you'll be the goldfish.                                                                 Don't cry. As much as you'd like to, straighten that lip, little man. That's all there is left to do. I'd like to teach you, my son, that every day, may only get worse. So hold steady and true, but refrain from the curse. You'll never be a loser, if you always keep your cool, I hope you someday use this lesson, as another life-saving tool.            ~Be happy, Cmac. Don't let bullies get to ya. You're doing a good job in school, buddy, so keep up the good work. Momma, John, and I are proud of you.~     (23 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 11th, 2005
12:09 am	I totally had to do this... even though everyone else has this.. I thought it'd be cool if at least one person could remember something... if you read this, even if i don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. it can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. then post this to your journal. see what people remember about you. (34 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
1:32 am	IWAG who... I want a girl who is beautiful, on the outside and on the inside. A girl who dosn't feel that she has to wear makeup to impress me, but if she wants to get herself pretty to look good for herself, than that's cool with me too. I want a girl who's understanding and open, and willing to try to understand me, but will explain herself, so I can understand too. I want a girl who never wants to fight, because it's pointless, and it gets you no where. A calm, two-sided talk and a laugh will solve mostly anything. A want a girl to trust me, and to know that I trust her too, because worrying never stops cheaters. I want a girl to not command me to stop bad habits, but to encourage the cease, and only hope, because the bad things she does, don't hurt me or anyone else, and it's her choice. I want a girl that realizes that I'm a guy. Yea, I'll forget to call. Yea, I'll forget our anniversaries. But it dosn't mean that I don't care. And when "that time of the month" roles around, I won't get mad if she lets her bad mood slip out, as long as she's willing to attempt to control it. I want a girl who appreciates the small things in life, someone who isn't narrow-minded towards hardships and failure, because bad shit happens, and I don't want to hear complaining, but I'll be there for you for every second of tragedy. I want a girl who cares about herself more than her 200 dollar pair of abercrombie jeans, because abercrombie sucks. Will you cry if your cash gets low? I want a girl who appreciates creativity and talent, because that's all that separates us from the rest. If you do that, I'll sing you to sleep. I want a girl who wants to have fun. Life's too short to be boring, and I'll show you a good time if you only let me get us away from movies for just one night. I want a girl who is strong, and always optimistic, because weakness is only for the weak, and there's nothing you can do to change the world, but to smile and try. I want a girl to be my best friend, my partner in love, and in crime. Someone I can always count on, because it takes two, to manage a couple. I want a girl to be pretty, and nice.     (39 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 5th, 2005
12:05 am	You're the last voice I'd ever want to hear, first thing in the morning... Yo..I havn't posted since last sunday, and I havn't had much to say and still don't, but I figured I'd post just to say what's been up. I been workin a lot... which is cool, and that's really about it... haha. Tony and Cfox say they want to move, so I may be movin out with them, if they get everything together. We're gonna try to move close to union street so Tony can easily walk or get rides to work, since he lost his licence. I was going to move to NC in August, but if I get a place before then, then I really don't need to move that badly to NC I suppose....It's up in the air. yea...I gotta work 10 in the morning tomorrow...until 2 in the morning... haha that is fucked up. That's a 16 hour shift... god damn...oh well, I'll live. I may get out as early as 12 if I'm completely lucky, but It won't happen. I went out to eat tonight with my momma and her b/f, and my uncle, his g/f, his friend, my bro, sampson and molly, at the ground round for my bday... whooo hoo! Which was a week ago, but it's all good. I still havn't got any presents yet.. haha but I'm pretty sure they might have all thrown down and got me some new tires...Our waitress brought me a piece of cake with candles, but none of the staff wanted to sing.. haha so that was it. There was this gorgeous tall chick their with sexy dark hair and a sweet ass and hips.. haha, but she was quite taller than me. She's friends with Nick Leakos sort of I think, because the first time I met her, she was with him...I don't remember her name though...but I sure would like to find out! anyways... I really got nothin to say, but comment anyway and I'd love to reply...Peace. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 30th, 2005
2:40 pm	Time to bitch like a girl... Yo..havn't posted in a while, I've been workin like crazy! I'm pretty bummed today, it's my birthday and I just had a really lame weekend. I stayed up on campus all weekend cause Noyes left me his room while he went away, but there wasn't anything to do. Eric Ronco and Lindsay Spain showed me a decent time though, so I appreciate that... but I'm also pissed cause I requested today and tomorrow off from work like 3 months in advance, and didn't get it, and I NEVER work sundays. So I had to cancel my momma's birthday dinner and cake and all that, so she's pretty disappointed that we can't do that this year. I also have to miss the STF show tonight... haha it's just totally not my day. I realized last night that there's a good chance I probably will be moving to NC in the fall. There's nothing keeping me here. My friends all have g/f's and whatnot.. I mean they're all perfectly content and happy, and I'm happy for em, but I'm bored, honestly. After high school everyone's packed up and left in one way or another, so what the hell. My momma and family wants me to move out and stuff, so I mean, it's a good opportunity. Well I got nothin else to say.. haha guess I'm off to work now, whoo hoo! Peace... Current Mood: disappointed (31 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
12:28 am	In the Land of Trees, and minimal violence... On my trip to Canada, I didn't find Jesus, but something much the same. I introduced myself, to the man I saw in the mirror. I wrote down everything I saw, from the second I left home, but came home, with blank, empty pages. I struggled to get outside of my mind, and sought all the ways to just take one mental vacation, but once I got out, I was locked out in the cold. Once I saw the inside from a different perspective, I knew I could conquer the war within, and never wanted to be outside again.   I busted down the gates, and threw my weight around. "Listen here, self. This is who I am. This is who I'm going to be. So like it. Because I don't like what your doing to yourself, or with yourself, so get on the right track. I am Jeremy McAdam, and that, is that."   On my trip to Canada, the Heavens cursed apon me, with flash floods and lightning storms. I was challenged to fight my way through, though I was caressed with warmth and hostility, on my return home. The angels gave me a key, and convinced me that I knew just what to do with it. All I needed was one phone-call, and I could come back to reality. Ever since, I've been a changed man. Ever since my trip to the Land of Trees, and minimal violence, I know that I make mistakes, and I can admit to them.   On my trip to Canada, I spent nights in bars, and cheap hotels, and many nights alone. I spent my time working, but mostly on my character. I wondered how friends, and family, and long-lost lovers looked at me, not only with their eyes, but with their souls too. I proceeded to pretend that I didn't care, but I cared. I cared enough to change. And that was my trip to Canada.                                      ~J.M~     (26 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
1:17 pm	This House Is Haunted. There's a ghost in my house, and it follows me around, everywhere I go. Every breath, blink, move, step, everything; it's there...I wake up with you standing at my bedside, like a reminder that the past 8 hours, were only a dream. I can't even escape in dream, because my dreams are full of this ghost...I remember the ghost in life as the catalyst, to pretty much all I've become. Why you? I remember being so happy, so in love...so angry...confused, heartbroken, depressed...I still do the same things after so long a time has passed. I wake up, sigh in pain, stretch, shake it off, the day goes by... what a blur, look in the mirror...pain... sigh...crawl into bed, turn off the lights, and stare at my thoughts on the ceiling. I havn't changed my mind, I just have a different outlook, on the same old idea. Please leave me alone, ghost. I'd like to go one single day without you breathing down my neck. When I'm alone, it's my single companion. When I'm with another, it's the 3'rd wheel. When I'm 10, 20, 50 deep, it's there to remind me that it's just it, and I. I've tried hating it...screaming at it, having drunken fights with it...it stays...I tried forgetting it, but it's constant reminders are unforgettable. I tried confession. Please forgive me. I see why you are still here, and you just want a sincere apology, but left with an empty heart, the ghost remains. I accepted the ghost, figuring if it was going to stick around, we could at the least be friends. The ghost appreciated the offer, and my maturity, yet denied and refused my offer on several occasions. It's been years! So why do you haunt me to this very day? Maybe it was something we shared in life. Maybe something we didn't, or maybe everything left to the "should-have's" and "could-have's". Perhaps it's the blood we shared, that crimson-colored connection that keeps me drawn to you, or moreso, you drawn to me. Unkept promises made keep shackles around your feet...Always?- no. Always?-no. Forever?-no. Forever?-no. Will you stay for one more day? Will you stay for two? Will you stay for an eternity...? I hope not...Save me. (24 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
1:00 am	Accepting Dating Applications -Here- Yo... I went boarding today at Hermon for the first time of the year, and I got beat up! I'm so sore and dead cause I wiped out hard like 10 times. It was my first time in like 5 years, but all in all, it was rad... Check this out... I was reading this chicks survey today, and for once, Iactually found it totally helpful. It was nice. It was almost like a dating application in a way. I thought it would be a good way to date, instead of the whole "dating" experience, where you hang out with someone awkwardly for however long, then find out it wasn't worth the time, then you gotta break it off and everything, it's just a big mess...Well, just like a job, I think people should have their own survey, application type deal, maybe with a picture on it, and chicks fill it out if they're interested, and you get back to em! That way, you only call back who you think you'll get along with... and no time wasted, you can just get right to being friends and whatnot! So here is mine that me and my friend Lindzbones made...Just a few questions that I would like to know!  Enjoy...                                                                              Fill That Shit out, Ladies! copy and paste into comments! 1. Clothes guys should wear- DC or AE? - 2. Shoes guys should wear-A&F flip-flops, or skating shoes? - 3. Do you like Tattoos on guys? - 4. Clean shaven guys, or stubbly? - 5. What type of music do you like? - 6. Do you like Tigers? - 7. What color eyes do you prefer? Green, Blue, or Brown? - 8. Are you obsessively religious? - 9. Are garage bands cool, or lame? - 10. Do you have a job? 11. Are drugs and alcohol acceptable Never, anytime and all the time, or when it's party time? - 12. Do you get down and fresh on, The first date, When it feels time, Or after you're married, and/or very serious and have been dating for a long, long time. - 13. What is your goal in life? - 14. What is your name? - 15. Do you have a job? - 16. Do you want a Serious, hardcore drama-fest relationship, or, A loving, respectful, chill, and fun relationship? - 17. Can you Sing, or Play the piano? - 18. What's a better quality for a guy? Creative talent, or Athletisism? - 19. Are you mature enough to handle a relationship, of any kind? - 20. Do you like to argue? - 21. If you were dating a guy, would you let him hang out with his friends? - 22. Are you a jealous person? - 23. Are you smart? - 24. Are you shy and conservative, or outgoing and friendly? - 25. Do you think drummers are sexy? - 26. Are you understanding, and willing to accept, or work with problems? - 27. What is your fave. color? - 28. Do you have a car? - 29. Do you eat meat, steak especially? - 30. What is a better date? Snowboarding, concert, and a party with friends, OR movies, movies.... and more movies...? - 31. What is one thing that guys do, that really pisses you off? - 32. What is your favorite store? - 33. What is a better car for a guy to drive? Sports, or Luxury? - 34. What is your favorite place to eat? - 35. Do you think Jeremy McAdam is one of the sexiest guys in America? - 36. Do you like to dance? - 37. Are you compitent enough to cook, operate your own washing machine, and pay bills you may have?     ~Alright, that's all I could think of... I really hope some bored people out there will fill this out, cause it took me a long time to think of these questions and type them out... Peace!~ (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
3:45 pm	Right On! <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/R/retromex/1103324632_eonDUncleR.gif" border="0" alt="UncleR"><br>Uncle Rico <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/retromex/quizzes/Which%20Napoleon%20Dynamite%20character%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
2:33 pm	I'll Scream my lungs out while I sleep... Yooo...I havn't been on top of posting lately, but I guess that's cool, I'm not really into writing down every single thing that I do every day. How was everyone's Christmas'? Mine was excellent. Got a new Lamar snowboard, and all the gear I could ever need...Got some movies and video games, and the new and old Jimmy eat world cds, and the new Sum41 cd, they're pretty good. I especially enjoy the new Jimmy cd, they're fuckin awesome. I also got some new books and shit, cause I read a lot, but I don't think I'd ever go into a book store and actually buy one. The christmas party at Ron's was half-decent, minus everyone pairing up by the end of the night. That totally sucks being alone at a party, it dosn't make sense...but hey, that's what people do. I ended up leaving at like 1:30 and went to Mike's, but thanks to everyone who showed up! So vacation for everyone is coming to an end it seems...I'm not even on vacation, but I feel like I am, which is cool cause when I realize that I was never on vacation in the first place, it'll be all good.  It was pretty exciting at first, everyone being home and whatnot.. haha but I havn't really done anything different, or seen anyone new. I was goin out a lot at the beginning, but now I really have no where to go. I've been staying up all night and sleeping all day, and just playing video games and listening to music allllll day. Haha...San Andreas is the raddest, most addicting game in the world... I'd totally like to get a band together, but I only know like 5 musicians in this area...so that's not gonna happen. But if anyone has any ideas, let me know! I've been waiting since good ol' StoneDef and Antigen86 to get a band together again...haha What is everyone doing for New Year's Eve? I've got no plans...All my friends have girlfriends pretty much.. so that's that. I gotta work at 9 the next morning, which is pretty lame, but oh well. I'm pretty open if anyone wants to include me! I wrote a piece the other day about somethin I was thinking about...It's about friends. Friends have more of a purpose and powerful reason than I actually realize. In my opinion, we put ourselves around our choice of friends to get good use out of them. Not only are they fun to hang out with and get drunk with, but they all possess traits that we don't have, that we think may be useful for us to emulate and learn from. If that dosn't make sense to anyone, I'll try to explain better us...For instance, sometimes I feel myself getting pissed off at my friends for stupid reasons, one or the other, and then I come to find that I'm in a way jealous of them, so it bothers me. If they blow me off or something, I feel a little bothered by it, because I wish that I could blow them off, but I just can't. I have friends who take advantage of people and use the shit out of them, and are always right. I'm sure everyone knows someone like that, and it gets annoying, but I keep them around because they always seem to be successful. They're demanding and get what they want, and that's not really my personality...but could be beneficial to me. When we get into a war of words, I feel gratification when they back down. A small amount of that stubborn determination rubs off on me every time those friends are around, just enough an amount to call it a strength, rather than an annoyance. I've got other friends who just really only think on one level of mind. They only see the facts, or the "stats" of everything, and that's how they fight their battles. They only take the ones they can win. This makes them very naive, and frankly kind of dumb, but they don't waste time worrying about stupid shit, or what people think about them. This is useful to me because I'm always having to solve problems for them, so it keeps me on my toes... haha, but other than that, it keeps my roots planted, and reminds me not to think too hard and over-analyze, like I always do. I've got friends who are real downers all the time. One bad thing happens, and their world crashes in flames. I know what they feel, because life isn't easy for anyone, but they are continuously at a low point. I have my times too, as some people who know me well know, but I pick my head up and carry on. This is useful to me because I always want to make them happy, or at least content with life. I could care less about myself or my own fucking problems when a friend's in need. Even if they aren't a friend, if someone is in need, I would much rather be a tool for them to find helpful, than be a tool because I only care about myself. When these types of friends have a happy feeling, for five minutes at a time, I feel satisfaction and relief. They always keep me realizing that their is much worse out there, and when goals are attained, to be thankful...That's pretty much all I have to say about that... haha, but If you think like me, you might agree I suppose. ~A story perscribed, for man to think, will cause dillema number one to shrink; to propagate this race of beings, and let all be known what man's been seeing. A story is told for moral and reason, teaming the question, a ripened liaison. Limericks are rhythmic and froward yet true, not to be understood by me or by you. A lesson is vivid, but always is present, the cover is blown by the "world's" brightest crescent. Solutions stirred repeatedly, constant reflux, Pride is an element, but success is a must.~     (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 18th, 2004
1:48 am	That Old Ghost can Die What's up. Just got outta work and it's like fucking 1 :30. I'm totally down with that though, cause I'm about 10 times happier with working 6-whenever, rather than 4 in the morning till whenever. I can go out every night and I'm lovin it. I feel like a kid in the summer. I stay up late every night cause I'm a night person... Rebound friends, did you know? I was fully aware, and willing to compromise my fake, pretencious smile, just to give you a good taste of home. Do you feel satisfied, that you got one good month of wasted time? You thought you were the princess of this game. At least I was prepared. You are the first I've trusted, since the last time I've trust in only one. I don't appreciate when someone becomes friends with your mother, and your mother's boyfriend, and your brother, and your dog, and your fish, your grandmother, (Who fucking hates everyone, except you) even your cats who just get run over a week after we get them and replace them....Then to disappear. I don't know what to think of that really. I don't want to think about it really, so I'm not going to. Peace Bitch... ( haha, I didn't really mean the bitch part, cause she's a rather nice girl, I just wanted to sound like a pimp.) Don't throw it all away, you've got the whole "WORLD" in your pocket.  Take that how you'd like to, it could mean all sorts of things, to me. Sorry, apologetic, I've changed in so many ways. I confess. I loved you. It takes a lot to admit all my mistakes. There will always be that part of me that will never let you go. They were everything you wanted, what I'd never really learn to be. Sad, Sad, confusing eyes, tell me Truth, throughout the lies. There's SO much that you would want to see, or I'd hope you'd want to see. I've cleaned up. I've moved on. I've fixed every broken promise, and now I'm yours, for the taking. Please just take a little piece, so I can keep the most of me here. Insecurities pulled the worst out in the open, from you; from me; from everyone, and anyone we heard opinions from; And we just sat and listened. The "world" will tell you a lot of things. It'll tell you to give in, or turn away, It'll tell you what you should think. I was wrong, and I'm not mad. You were only the monster I made you to be. So be free. I don't think I should live in the past anymore, at all, about anything. H'ell get one last hug, and I'll tell him that you said "good-bye".                                                                                       (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
12:05 am	All's I got to say is "agh fuck" I got nothin good to say, so i don't even know why im gonna write in my LJ.. I guess im just gonna be like everyone else and bitch bitch bitch. I saw stephanie tonight, really for the first time in forever. and no, it's not a big deal, but it sucked. it always does and will. Can't ever change it. Lindsay's pissed.... shit what's new, I fuck up a lot, sorry. And Mary's bein weird and is gone.. shiiiiit... haha hopefully I can get a new job, or get the fuck out of here, either one, I'm down for whatever. Thanks anyways friends. That's all. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 25th, 2004
9:22 pm	It's been a long time, been a long time, been a loooooong fuckin time.     Yo...It's been so long since I've posted... I used to post often, sometimes even daily.. but lately, I've had several reasons not to post. I've been sick or tired, busy, or just way too fuckin lazy, with nothin to say. Work has really been taxin on me. I've realized that getting up at 4, 5 in the morning, then getting out late at night, going to bed, then doing it again 5 or 6 days a week, just isn't for me. Nothing about construction and carpentry is really for me. And now especially since I'm pretty lead poisoned, I think it's a good time to leave my job. I've applied at about every restaurant in the Bangor area, so hopefully I can get one, cause I think I'd like to be a waitor, and I think I'd be a damn good one at that. I'm  just so sick of dragging my ass and pathetic life around everyday, and struggling just to get by every single day. I have no energy ever and always feel like shit. I also got a job at Abercrombie a couple weeks ago. yea, I said it ABER-FUCKING-CROMBIE and Bitch. That's right. Fuck anyone who wants to say shit about that, and if you wanna say shit about that, say it to my face out in the parking lot after I'm out mother fucker. I get paid, to stand around, look at fine, fine ladies all day long, and dress nice. I think there's nothin wrong with that. I don't really follow their rules, but fuck em, I do my own thing.     I've been hangin out with Mary lately, I'm sure everyone has heard or seen us together. We aren't dating or anything, just chillin, doin what we like, and that's that. She's a cool chick. She's laid back, dosn't judge me on what I do, and we give each other space, and neither of us really need a relationship b/f g/f type, we just could both use a friend, so it's cool. She's just got out of some rough shit and I'm glad she came back.    I'm feeling civil and mellow. Let's talk just one time, and pretend we never have before...                    I don't need to. I don't even want to. I just feel nothing about you. You're just... you. nothing. nothing at all....I just can. "Hello. How are you? I'm cool. What have you been up to? Nothing, just a lot of work. It's been a long, long year and a half. Nice talking to you. Goodbye."                                                                                          Peace (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
8:40 pm	I'm not Here yo...I don't have a whole lot to say, just rambling like usual. It never makes any sense to anyone but to myself, just sounds good. haha, I think it's funny. I always write a lot of mixed bullshit, about all sorts of different things, put them all in riddle, and no one can understand what or who I'm talking about most of the time. I talked about 5 or 6 different people in my last couple entries, and jumped all around, no one would ever know. My master plan...   I just bought a photo album at Wal-Mart. Boy was that exciting. That;s my entertainment for the evening. It's too sad though as well. I started sorting out all of my pictures, and I was like fuck this... too depressing.                                                                            ~And When I'm acquited, I'll do my time writing songs of you,                                              and the way things used to be, for all eternity...~ Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: My Chemical Romance (3 Comments |Comment on this)
8:09 pm	I'm not Here yo...I don't have a whole lot to say, just rambling like usual. It never makes any sense to anyone but to myself, just sounds good. haha, I think it's funny. I always write a lot of mixed bullshit, about all sorts of different things, put them all in riddle, and no one can understand what or who I'm talking about most of the time. I talked about 5 or 6 different people in my last couple entries, and jumped all around, no one would ever know. My master plan...   I just bought a photo album at Wal-Mart. Boy was that exciting. That;s my entertainment for the evening. It's too sad though as well. I started sorting out all of my pictures, and I was like fuck this... too depressing.                                                                            ~And When I'm acquited, I'll do my time writing songs of you,                                              and the way things used to be, for all eternity...~ Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: My Chemical Romance (Comment on this)